Op-Ed: Who is on your team?

Sports fans can help us understand the power of team symbols

Humans, much like many animals, travel in packs. The natural state of things is to identify with a particular group in order to be supported, gain resources, and survive. This is instinctual behavior. However, as the world has evolved and we rely less on our neighbors for survival, we still separate into groups sorted by country, religion, class, race, sexual orientation, beliefs, etc. This natural tendency can exacerbate societal/interpersonal issues when they arise - especially in the workplace. To illustrate this, let's take a look at one of my favorite groups to identify with, NY Giants fans.

Imagine this: it's a sunny, mid-September Sunday. I pull my blue jersey over my head and think of all the ways our team is going to trounce our division rival, the Philadelphia Eagles. In my head, I list the reasons why our team is superior, all of the times we have beat them, how our franchise is classier, and how our fans aren't so ignorant and horrible. In other words, I lie to myself because it feels good.

I sit through the game, and as things go our way, I cheer and make fun of my friends that actually like these clowns. I think, "Man, they are so freaking dumb! How are we friends?" When the Eagles score, I feel disappointment and irritation in my chest. The opposing fans taunt us, make fun of our players, and say and do all sorts of things to make us feel bad. We do the same when the game swings in our team’s favor: "Eagles suck! Eagles suck!" 

There are varying degrees of fans - those who can shake each other's hands and get on with their lives, and those that fight (or kill) each other over these heated wins/losses. (Yes, it's happened.) We do all of this over a pretty meaningless thing – a football game. So, how does this play out when there is far more at stake?

What team jersey(s) are you currently wearing: Liberal or Conservative; Gun Rights or Gun Control; Ukraine or Russia; Trump or Biden? If football fans have the tendency to act irrationally at games, how do we expect people to act when feeling like life and liberty are at stake?

7 reasons I can't/won't hear you with our “jerseys” on:

1. When I wear my blue jersey, I am cloaked in my own fan pride. I will discount your opinion and embed myself further into my comfort zone with the other fans in blue.  

2. If your team starts to win, then my team is losing. Losing feels horrible and must be avoided.

3. I will believe and promote any negative information that surfaces about your team because it supports my position. I am not interested in you, your feelings, or facts that don't support my team, so I won't even check to see if the info is accurate. 

4. The more positive reinforcement I get from the other fans of my team, the louder and more vitriolic I tend to become. 

5. I would rather embrace the drunk, moronic fan in blue than your educated, respectable fan in green. He's one of our own and he agrees with me. Your guy has proven he can't possibly know anything about ANY topic because he's a fan of the wrong team. 

6. I will take the first chance I get to make you feel bad about your team by sharing every bad thing I can find and ignoring anything that makes you look good. All is fair in love and war. 

7. We sit on separate sides of the field at the same game. We often tailgate separately. We win or lose at each other's expense. I seek out like-minded people in order to hear what I want to hear and to remain safe from your negative words or violence. You make me feel like an outsider that has no value. 

What does football have to do with it? 

Football is a way of illustrating that we cannot approach the other side rationally in the heat of battle. There cannot be a perceived winner or loser at stake during discussions, or people will make sure NO ONE wins. This is just human nature. Therefore, sharing a joking, incendiary meme about gays, Muslims, cops etc. is the equivalent of punching the other guy in the face. You aren't changing the world or furthering a national conversation; you're just a tool cheering on your own team at the expense of someone else. 

Forcing someone to agree with your team before trying to engage in a discussion is futile and should be avoided. You don't need Harry from next door to utter the words ‘Black Lives Matter’ before you attempt to talk about any racial inequalities that exist. Know which mountains to die on and which are just semantics. 

Ok, I get it. So, what can we do?

1. People respect and listen to those that transcend teams – people that are able to voice everyone's shared struggles and empathize with them. Aspire to be more like that. 

2. Get to know what makes the other "team" tick. What happened in their lives that affected the way they view the world? This is where empathy and understanding can be found. Humanize the person to understand their position. (Was that person adopted instead of aborted? Was her son killed by gun violence?)

3. Avoid using negative team monikers. Fans don't like to be called the Cowgirls, VaGiants, or Libtards.

4. Stop hiding behind biased sources and other like-minded people and sharing content from pages like Tea Party Tea-baggers or Commie Liberal Bastards – unless of course you are just trying to incite Facebook violence. If you choose to post from these places, do so knowing that no education or change will come of it. Don't be surprised when the aggression you unconsciously invited shows up in your feed.

Instead, thoughtfully choose and fact-check unbiased sources of information before sharing. It prevents someone's proverbial wall from going up when they feel they are being attacked. Your message has a greater shot of resonating. 

5. No matter how hard it is, never resort to name-calling to make your point. Every rational person within a block will avoid you, think you're crazy and by extension think you're not worth listening to. Your message and power are lost. 

Is this list all-inclusive? Not by a long shot. These are only a few of the worthwhile things we can do to change the collective consciousness of the one team that we can all get behind, Team USA. We may never eradicate all of the ignorance that chooses to show up on TV, social media, or elsewhere in our lives, but this is not an indication that our efforts don't matter. We need to require more of ourselves and our media, defy our human instincts to divide, and give it a try.